8 Things That Will Go Wrong On Stage

No matter how practiced or prepared you are, some things will always go wrong.

Even seasoned stage veterans have to be ready to deal with a large variety of unexpected mishaps.

Here are just a few of the incidents you can expect.

1. Equipment Failure

This is by far the biggest on-stage kerfuffle and I see it happen all the time. Whether it be a battery dying, a faulty patchcord, a broken string, or a dreaded unplugging, remember to keep your cool.

Quickly fix the problem without drawing much attention to it. Most of the time the audience will never even notice that anything out of the ordinary has happened.

Tip: Keep a backup instrument nearby in order to switch quickly if you have an instrument malfunction. Have a reliable person on standby in the crowd, ready to fix any broken strings or rapidly replace patchcords.

2. Terrible Mix

This problem will happen to you almost as much as the former. There are as many inexperienced sound guys out there as there are musicians. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do at this point to help yourself.

This is where the long hours of practice and experience will help you pull through (beginners will just have to suffer through it). A good musician should be able to make his way through the song, without hearing himself. Rely on the practice, your memory, vibrations or anything else that can help you make it through the rest of the show.

Tip: Loading in on time and having a proper sound check will minimize the risk of having a terrible mix.

3. Spills

Electronics and liquids, don’t usually mix. When the spill happens (and it will), try to quickly move the equipment out of the danger zone. As soon as your set is over, clean up the equipment and dry it off as best you can. If the liquid was anything other then water, it’s a good idea to open up your equipment and try to find all traces of the liquid.

Tip: The best way to avoid this is by placing your beverage out of the danger zone. Keeping drinks away from amplifiers, patchcords and effects pedals are a really good idea.

4. Electrocution

Dingy clubs, faulty wiring, musical equipment, and sweaty hands usually lead to some sort of electric shock. If you use both a microphone and an electric instrument make sure to lightly touch both at the same time to see if you get a shock. It’s much better to figure this out beforehand then to find out while singing mid-song.

Similarly, if you are using a vintage amp with an old two prong cord, be aware that you will get a shock depending on which way the amp’s ground switch is pointing (an easy fix for this is to get the plug upgraded to a modern 3 prong).

Tip: The best solution is to buy a $5 foam mic cover which will prevent you from getting shocked at all. (It is also a much more sanitary solution than pressing your lips on the beer soaked microphone which was just down the throat of the last band’s singer.

5. Forgotten Equipment

This one will happen occasionally and will leave you banging your head against the wall. The first thing you need to figure out is if you can go on without the missing item–an ingenious drummer I know once fashioned a makeshift snare drum from a snare skin and a tambourine. If not, you can always try to borrow from another band, although this won’t make you very popular.

In the end, you’ll have to make the best of what you’ve got and try not to forget next time.

Tip: Make a checklist of all your equipment, and each night as you load and unload, make sure to check items off the list. This is a great way to not leave behind any gear at a gig–even after a long night of playing and partying. Just make sure to give the checklist to the responsible member.

6. Mic in the Teeth

If you’re a singer, brace yourself for the unwanted feeling of a microphone smashing into your front teeth. Usually this happens, when a few drunk bar patrons get rowdy and feel the need to show off near the front of the stage.

Without fail, one of these individuals will fall into the microphone stand while you’re singing, causing the mic to smash into your teeth. You’ll know this has happened by shooting pain in your face.

Tip: Always be aware of the crowd. If you find people getting uncomfortably close, keep an eye on your mic stand, or move it further from the edge of the stage (that is, if there is a stage…).

7. The Heckler

Chances are at some point in your career, you will be heckled. It doesn’t matter how good you are, it could simply be a case of being booked into the wrong type of venue. If you’re witty, you can try to turn the heckler’s antics around. If not, then continue to play out the gig as you were booked.

Showing the promoter that you aren’t willing to sweat the little things is a great way to have them appreciate your professionalism.

Tip: A lot of times heckler’s could be the intoxicated locals sitting at the bar. Sometimes it’s best to brush the comments off rather then risking a confrontation in a strange city.

8. Mother Nature

Outdoor gigs can be tricky. If the forecast calls for rain, be sure to take the necessary precautions. Park your vehicle as close to the stage as possible to allow for a speedy exit if it starts pouring. Make sure to bring a lot of plastic garbage bags, large tarps, and duct tape in order to keep equipment dry during a downpour.

Tip: If there is lightning, pack up immediately and wait it out–there’s no point getting electrocuted more than you have to. Once again make sure to open all cases and wipe down all wet equipment. If things are really soaked, let them dry for at least 24 hours before trying to plug anything back in.

These are just some of the things that will go wrong as you are playing shows. You can help yourself by being prepared for anything. However, when something does go wrong, keep your cool and try to remedy the situation.

In most cases you can quickly get things under control if you think clearly before acting.

What things have gone wrong at your gigs?

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Image by: theisabelfish